Non-Self = Tolerance!

The Buddha taught that there are 3 marks of existence: Dissatisfaction, Impermanence, and Non-Self. These are connected: there is no self - in other words, no abiding, ongoing “thing” we can call “I”, and that is because all things are impermanent, i.e., constantly changing. But our minds tend to hold onto ideas, such as ideas about “myself”, and this struggle against impermanence causes dissatisfaction.

We can see this impermanence and lack of an abiding self by being aware and present, during meditation and also in everyday life. Things are constantly changing - our bodies, our feelings, our thoughts, and all these things in other people, too.

Which brings us to the “formula” in the title above: Non-self = Tolerance”!

If I’m buying into a mental construct of an abiding self, and applying it to others, I may pin down what someone is about - especially people that act undesirably or desirably: “He’s a jerk!”; “She’s really nice!”; “He’s really a brainiac!”; She’s kind of flaky”, etc.

But when I realize - and observe - that each person’s thinking, moods, and behaviors are constantly changing from one moment to the next, these opinions and labels begin to unravel, and I become much more tolerant! Maybe he’s a jerk right now, but he has been, and I bet will be, a really nice person at other times! And, taking it further (into Reality), there really isn’t any abiding “person”: just a series of these momentary characteristics, constantly changing - although we do use the idea of a “person” as a convention, to communicate.

This tolerance can be extended to one’s self (conventionally speaking!). If I realize - and see - that I am not a static, ongoing thing, my self-concepts also break down. I may have screwed up; later, I may have done something really great; but neither of these is “who I am”, or a permanent trait!